Touchstone Coaching Blog - Elaine Taylor-Klaus - focus|clarity|action™

Eight Tips to Prepare for Postpartum, Parenthood and Life

David Taylor-Klaus — Mon, 02 May 2011 03:31:18 +0000

Elaine Taylor-KlausThe prospect of becoming a parent for the first time is damn scary! I mean, you take on a job for which you have no experience, it’s a matter of life or death, and it’s 24/7. Talk about a challenge.

I am a seasoned veteran of the shock of the postpartum experience. My first child taught me, the hard way, that the time spent preparing for an ideal birth was incomplete without equal importance placed on preparing for postpartum life and the beginning of parenthood. Let’s just say we had a tough first year togethe

So later on, in my years as a teacher of pregnancy yoga classes for women, and labor and delivery classes for couples, I tried to teach budding parents to use pregnancy, labor and delivery as a training ground for parenthood.

Now, after three kids of my own, and watching hundreds of new mothers and their partners fumble and find their way through the early maze of parenthood, here’s some useful advice for all stages of parenthood, both pregnancy and postpartum (which, by the way, lasts forever after):

You can’t control what happens, you can only control how you respond to what happens.
Expect the unexpected and be prepared for anything.
Trust your instincts.
Learn to ask for help and support, and actually accept it.
Let your partner BE a partner – get over the ‘super-woman’ myth that you have to do everything yourself. If there is no partner, find an ally!
At all costs, maintain your sense of humor (choose laughter instead of tears.)
Create and join community wherever it presents itself. Loneliness and isolation start a vicious cycle.
Practice taking care of yourself.

Read the full version of this blog on ShareWiK.com, where she is a regular columnist.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus is a Life, Leadership & Parenting Coach and the founder of Touchstone Coaching and ImpactADHD™

Staying Power and Forgiveness: Keys to Supporting people with Addiction

David Taylor-Klaus — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 20:55:00 +0000

Severe addiction causes a lot of pain and guilt for friends and family. Staying with a friend without getting too close, and finding Forgiveness without condoning bad choices is a recipe for success. It may not always lead to a happy ending, but it’s a way to manage the conflict with integrity and respect.

Depleted sex drive is common but doesn't have to be permanent

David Taylor-Klaus — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 20:52:00 +0000

While motherhood and a busy life can distance us from our sexuality, reclaiming it can be liberating – and a lot of fun. When women remember that our sex life is a gift to ourselves, not to someone else, it can help us find the motivation to stay up a little later, surrender a little sleep, and re-connect with the intimate partners in our lives.

Tips to Tame the Bully Within

David Taylor-Klaus — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 22:35:00 +0000

Sometimes, I must confess, I am a bully. A big, bad, mean, compassionless bully. Not to my friends, or my family (I hope). I don’t yell at my kids a lot, and I try really hard not to be manipulative. I’m not that kind of bully.

How do you spend a gift of time? Choose to PLAY and have some FUN!

David Taylor-Klaus — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 00:02:00 +0000

Atlanta's "Snowmageddon" was like a mandated sabbatical from the universal conscience, whatever you accept that to be. We decided it felt like “And God said, let there be rest!” No, really!

Want to Lose Weight? Healthy Leads to Happy (& Thin)™

David Taylor-Klaus — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 00:11:00 +0000

Deciding to get healthy takes the focus off of weight loss and dieting and puts the attention back on happiness and fulfillment. When you discover what you really want for yourself, and Why, and then Believe that you deserve it, it’s amazing what you can make happen. In other words, Healthy Leads to Happy (& Thin)™.

What is the proper way to respond to the reactivity of others?

David Taylor-Klaus — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 15:35:00 +0000

At this moment, my hands are shaking and I can’t catch my breath. It’s all I can do to hit the proper keys on the keyboard. Adrenaline is coursing through my veins, and the ‘precipitating event’ was nearly an hour ago. What was the experience that shook me to my core, you ask? It was ...

It's not just fear of the Squeeze that keeps us from yearly mammogram

David Taylor-Klaus — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 15:23:00 +0000

Some may argue that a pelvic exam is equally as poignant, but not me. I maintain that the annual mammogram visit is much more profound than a date with a speculum.

"Gremlins"--those voices in our head--are sneaky little buggers!

David Taylor-Klaus — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 17:35:00 +0000

Opportunistic little buggers, gremlins have no qualms about hitting below the belt, or taking advantage of us when our defenses are down. In fact, they are WIRED to shift into high gear when our defenses are at our lowest, when we are feeling vulnerable.

Do you make a place for PAUSE in your life?

David Taylor-Klaus — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 16:33:00 +0000

There is a pause before the swing of a golf club or softball bat; the pause of reflection before we try something new; the pause while we find the words we seek; the pause to catch our breath. And it’s the pause that many of us – especially women, though men more increasingly these days -- find so difficult to create space for in our lives.